Let them eat cake...or no ?

Well, well, well. It's been a long time. I shouldn't have left you.



Yea, that was corny.


SOOO much has happened in the last few months. My hiatus albeit it long, was absolutely necessary. This Barbii has changed a lot. I've changed my attitude, my goals, my expectations, & most of all my time zone. I'm now based in H- Town. A new town & a fresh start in order to grow. Change is good for everyone. You should try it :-)


One of the things that has NOT changed is my relationship status.



...*sigh*...



I haven't been in Houston long enough to give you all the low down on the men. To be honest the hottest guy I have seen thus far was in a damn Wal-Mart by my house. I'm talking Morris Chestnut in "Two can play that game fine". Too bad that after we exchanged smiles he walked over to a two door Hyundai & had to get in on the PASSENGER side because the driver's side door apparently didn't work.


There went THAT conversation. Damn Gina !


Now don't get me wrong. I'm not a stuck up Barbii, but c'mon son ! I do need four working doors. I could see my girls shaking their heads laughing & scolding me that I was wrong, that he could have been "the one". Anyway, after several four letter words to myself while beating my steering wheel upon watching him climb into his atrocity of a vehicle I had to ask wonder.


Do I need to compromise my standards in order to be in a relationship ?



I have been single for quite a while now & a lot of it has to do with the fact that I don't want to settle for something I perceive to be less than I want. I'd hate to get married just for the right to run up & down the street Shug Avery style & yell "I's married now" or worse to "fit in" with my married friends. Truth be told I wouldn't trade places with any of my friends who have already taken the plunge. Most of them are typical Suzy homemakers. They stay at home, take care of babies, cook large dinners nightly for their families, & cater to their husbands. The highlight of their day is Wendy Williams.


I'd rather slit my effin wrists than live like that.


Don't get me wrong. I am kinda ready to play the "wifey" part. I cook, keep a clean crib & I can cater to a dude like I sang back up for Matthew Knowles favorite daughter. Do I want to throw in the towel on my standards in order to have that ? Umm..no ma'm.


Now I realize that when in a relationship compromises have to be made. There are certain things that are unacceptable. Still there will be some things I will miss. I like my freedom. I like being able to go hang with the girls & come in at 4:00 a.m. with my heels in one hand & a carry out box from a 24 hour diner in the other. I like being able to pee with the door open. I like not having to be cute ALL the time at home. I like being able to flirt back when a hot guy is flirting with me & not feel guilty. Most importantly I LOVE being able to watch Lifetime Movie Network ALLL day Sunday & not get the side eye.


Now, the ish I DON'T like.


I don't like sleeping alone. I don't like when I make a kick ass dinner there is no one to sing my praises. I don't like spending my WHOLE birthday with just my girls. I don't like staying in the house on Valentine's Day so that I'm not bombarded with countless reminders of my single status. I don't like that first week after my cycle when I am oh so ...*clears throat*...randy ...& I have to settle for either internet porn or Cinemax.


Yes. It gets REALLY real.


But the thing I truly detest is the oh, so dreadful first date. I hate the forced conversation, the "meeting the representative" & not the actual person, I hate the whole unfamiliarity of this new person who is about to carve a chapter, whether miniscule or colossal into my life. Now don't get me wrong. I totally get that this is absolutely essential in order to get to the desired placement in the relationship of my dreams, but it is still a nuisance.


I just wanna have my cake AND eat it to ? I mean isn't that what the damn cake is for anyway ? To eat ?


We shall see I guess.


Later Gators

XOXO



P.S.

Since I am finally moved, unpacked, & settled my blogs will be more frequent. At the very least weekly so be sure to check back with ya girl ;-)

"Sugar to shit"

Ok, so the margarita's made Barbii get a late start today, but it's Sunday ("Lifetime Sunday" to be exact ladies) so it's acceptable. I showered, teeth are brushed, & have digested my turkey bacon & egg whites with low fat cheese (damn Atkins). I really wanted a mimosa but had no champagne so just simply orange it was (because it would have been TOO early to put vodka in it...right ?)...

Anyway...moving on. As you all know last night I decided against going out & instead kicked it at "Club Barbii" solo dolo ending the night conked out on my couch with "Purple Rain" on repeat & an empty pitcher of pomegranate margarita on the table. Oh & it was SOOO delish ! I'll include the recipe at the end kids :-D

What to wear, what to wear...

It's not really hot today, so far it is only 68 (damn...where did summer go that quick?)...but I actually like the weather when it's cooler (me thinking fall :-D). The clothes are way more fabulous...knee boots, UGGS (I oh so LIVE in my chocolate ones), fly jackets, dope sweater dresses that accentuate said knee boots, tight fitting Joe jeans (I am a jean addict)...I think it has to do with me being born in the fall, I just love it.

But it's not THAT type of weather yet, so let's find something to wear today kids.

My girl Madison called me today & invited me to go to a BBQ w/her & my girl Honey (not her government of course, but her true nickname) around 6 ish. Now I NEVER turn down a chance to grub on some ribs (at least Atkins is good for something right) so I happily accepted even though it looks kinda gloomy out & rain may be in the later forecast.

Ok, I think I know what I am going to wear today, so let's move on to today's topic shall we ?

Ladies, what do you do when the great guy you are dating is great on paper, but the spark just is NOT there ?

Hmm...

We have all been here before. After dating asshole after asshole you FINALLY get a gift from the date fairy & meet "him". He has his shit together. No kids (sans the baby momma drama), He has a degree, maybe even an MBA, a fly ass loft (think Brian Kinney on "Queer as Folk"), bomb ass gig...hmm...maybe a financial analyst (yea, Im reaching I know), pushes a fly whip, teeth that look like he was BORN with braces or some ish because his teeth are THAT perfect.

Anyway, you all see where I am going right ? Dude is the ish.

You guys go out a few times & each date is better than the previous. You are TOTALLY enamored with this dude even though you are trying your hardest to not fall so quickly. You email each other while at work & continue during your lunches by texting.

It is flirtatious, it is brand new, it is bliss.

Then IT happens.

You two have just left one of your favorite sushi joints & the sake has you feeling SUPER sexy & him as well. You are driving back to his place & Neyo is crooning through his sound system...

Damn, the night couldn't get any better could it ?

You make it back to his place & you are doing your BEST Melyssa Ford strut across the hardwood floor to him (damn that Sake is a confidence booster right?)...

You & him begin to kiss (he is a great kisser), hands are going everywhere (you are READY for it), you both make your way to his bedroom &...

...20 minutes later you are lying on your back trying to figure out how to get the hell up out of dodge & fast.

The foreplay, the equiptment, hell, even his moans....all wack .

After you hit your girl while he is asleep with that "call me with an emergency" text so that you can get the hell out of there (which always works like a charm right girls) you get dressed, race to your car, sit behind the wheel & wonder.

What the hell just happened ?

Ladies & germs, sugar to shit just happened.

Sugar to shit is that dreadful experience when you meet the perfect guy who unfortunately can't screw his way out of a paper bag. He is good on paper, looks are flawless, he is so YOU. But he will also be the reason that you have to go to Rite Aid every week to restock on KY Jelly. Now sex is not what defines a relationship of course, but it does help keep things running along quite nice doesn't it ? We all say we want the aforementioned guy...the "good guy", but do we really ? How many women are willing to walk away from the "good guy" because his sexual skills are lacking ? How about the ones that stay with him only to cheat on him with the "bad guy" who has you sweating out that press & curl that you stayed in the shop for 6 hours to get ?

Oh now DON'T act like you don't know about the "bad guy" ?

The bad guy is that dude that your silly ass met at (of all places), the club. That hot ass club that was advertised a gazillion times on the radio & facebook. He is gorgeous of course, whip is nice, as far as his crib it can be one of 2 things...

You haven't seen it because he lives with "a friend"

*side eye*

He still lives with the 'rents (MASSIVE fail in which you deserve to be burned)

Or he simply just doesn't want the jump off (oh, that would be YOU) to know where he lives because Mr. Playa has had 1 too many drive by/pop ups while entertaining other lady friends.

His sex is OH SO bomb ! I'm talking afterwards you are at the crib (YOUR crib because he didn't invite you to stay the night ) basking in the after glow.

He doesn't offer to go out on a real date too much & if he does it is probably because you are taking too long to put out & he feels that is the sacrifice he must make. He goes out damn near EVERY night to clubs, not upscale lounges or bars, not restaurants, but "free before 11" clubs, & much like Norm at Cheers, "everybody knows his name".

Yea, THAT guy.

This is the guy that you KNOW is bad news. You see through that smile & how he says ALL the right things but you STILL give him a chance to make you a damn statistic.

*Sigh*...smh...

So the question I pose ladies is this...

Why do we ignore those little "tell tell" signs that are there in the beginning & proceed with the facade of a relationship until the inevitable occurs ? Why do we set ourselves up to be 2 months down the line pissed beyond control, eating Ben & Jerry's & listening to Mary J non stop (oh, & I'm talking "depressed, drunk, & going through the ish with K.C." Mary circa '93).

Why can't we just give that "good guy" a try ? Is it because women secretly crave some sort of drama or chaos ? Is it because we too love the thrill of the chase ?

Hmm...Imma have to digest this bit today & talk it out with the girls on the way to the BBQ....

Damnit ! It's 4:43 & I am still in a damn robe !

Ok kids, I am about to get dressed & head to the BBQ. Pray that there are no drunk Uncle Leroy's there that will try to make me dance with them & that the ribs are beef.

Holla 'atcha later tonite !

XOXO

Barbii

P.s...

I didn't forget the recipe kids ! Enjoy responsibly :-D

Pomegranate Margarita

Courtesy of Danny Boome (http://www.foodnetwork.com/)

Prep time 5 minutes, makes 4 servings, real easy


Lime wedge, plus more for garnish
Salt
Ice
4 ounces white tequila
2 ounces Triple Sec
1/2 cup pomegranate juice
1 lime, juiced (optional)
Club soda