Well, well, well. It's been a long time. I shouldn't have left you.
Yea, that was corny.
SOOO much has happened in the last few months. My hiatus albeit it long, was absolutely necessary. This Barbii has changed a lot. I've changed my attitude, my goals, my expectations, & most of all my time zone. I'm now based in H- Town. A new town & a fresh start in order to grow. Change is good for everyone. You should try it :-)
One of the things that has NOT changed is my relationship status.
...*sigh*...
I haven't been in Houston long enough to give you all the low down on the men. To be honest the hottest guy I have seen thus far was in a damn Wal-Mart by my house. I'm talking Morris Chestnut in "Two can play that game fine". Too bad that after we exchanged smiles he walked over to a two door Hyundai & had to get in on the PASSENGER side because the driver's side door apparently didn't work.
There went THAT conversation. Damn Gina !
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not a stuck up Barbii, but c'mon son ! I do need four working doors. I could see my girls shaking their heads laughing & scolding me that I was wrong, that he could have been "the one". Anyway, after several four letter words to myself while beating my steering wheel upon watching him climb into his atrocity of a vehicle I had to ask wonder.
Do I need to compromise my standards in order to be in a relationship ?
I have been single for quite a while now & a lot of it has to do with the fact that I don't want to settle for something I perceive to be less than I want. I'd hate to get married just for the right to run up & down the street Shug Avery style & yell "I's married now" or worse to "fit in" with my married friends. Truth be told I wouldn't trade places with any of my friends who have already taken the plunge. Most of them are typical Suzy homemakers. They stay at home, take care of babies, cook large dinners nightly for their families, & cater to their husbands. The highlight of their day is Wendy Williams.
I'd rather slit my effin wrists than live like that.
Don't get me wrong. I am kinda ready to play the "wifey" part. I cook, keep a clean crib & I can cater to a dude like I sang back up for Matthew Knowles favorite daughter. Do I want to throw in the towel on my standards in order to have that ? Umm..no ma'm.
Now I realize that when in a relationship compromises have to be made. There are certain things that are unacceptable. Still there will be some things I will miss. I like my freedom. I like being able to go hang with the girls & come in at 4:00 a.m. with my heels in one hand & a carry out box from a 24 hour diner in the other. I like being able to pee with the door open. I like not having to be cute ALL the time at home. I like being able to flirt back when a hot guy is flirting with me & not feel guilty. Most importantly I LOVE being able to watch Lifetime Movie Network ALLL day Sunday & not get the side eye.
Now, the ish I DON'T like.
I don't like sleeping alone. I don't like when I make a kick ass dinner there is no one to sing my praises. I don't like spending my WHOLE birthday with just my girls. I don't like staying in the house on Valentine's Day so that I'm not bombarded with countless reminders of my single status. I don't like that first week after my cycle when I am oh so ...*clears throat*...randy ...& I have to settle for either internet porn or Cinemax.
Yes. It gets REALLY real.
But the thing I truly detest is the oh, so dreadful first date. I hate the forced conversation, the "meeting the representative" & not the actual person, I hate the whole unfamiliarity of this new person who is about to carve a chapter, whether miniscule or colossal into my life. Now don't get me wrong. I totally get that this is absolutely essential in order to get to the desired placement in the relationship of my dreams, but it is still a nuisance.
I just wanna have my cake AND eat it to ? I mean isn't that what the damn cake is for anyway ? To eat ?
We shall see I guess.
Later Gators
XOXO
P.S.
Since I am finally moved, unpacked, & settled my blogs will be more frequent. At the very least weekly so be sure to check back with ya girl ;-)
Good one Keep them comming!
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